This morning I was standing in my kitchen admiring the gorgeous hutch my talented husband is in the process of building for our kitchen.  (I will add a picture as soon as I figure out how to do it). It is constructed largely of cypress that's close to 200 years old that was salvaged from a church that burned earlier this year on Prytania Street in the Garden District. That no attempt was made (other than ours) to salvage that wood is a topic for another rant. What we did not cart away went into a landfill.

Mooning over the furniture complete, I turned to clean up the kitchen. I started by removing 4 smoked ham hocks from the pot of red beans I cooked for dinner last night. I dumped the ham hocks in a bowl, called the dogs, and headed for the back porch. I commanded - count them - 4 of my (Oh MY!) 5 dogs to "sit", then I parcelled out the smoked hocks. I deemed my 5th dog, Lovebug, 6 pounds, too small to tackle a hock so I gave her a small peice of beef jerky as a consolation prize. And that's when the OMG moment hit.

 Lessee....Ancient cypress from a burned out New Orleans church, red beans, smoked ham hocks, 5 dogs (one of which is a slobbering Catahoula cur/Chocolate lab mix), and me reigning over it all in my damned nightie.

It's happened: I am a character in my owned damned novel.

Easy Red Beans

• 1 pound Camillia red beans
• 8 cups water
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 ribs celery, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, chopped
• 1 tablespoon chopped garlic, (about 3 toes)
• 1 pound ham or turkey tasso 
• 4 smoked ham hocks
• Tony Chachere's seasoning 
• Tabasco

Dump everything in a slow cooker (Crock Pot). Cover, set to cook on high for 6 hours and walk away.  
Serve with rice and/or French bread. For true Southern flair, remove ham hocks and feed to snarling dogs while leaning over back porch in nightie.